Thoughts become things. Words have power. And so I could not decide on a title for this particular post because everything that came to mind was not very positive.
It's been awhile since I posted. This is because I have been in a dark space emotionally. And this dark space has pulled me down physically as well.
Things have been quite stressful for me lately with, among other things, my husband working way too many hours, my mother-in-law living with us. And especially with the news that she wants to stay here permanently (when all I have been doing is counting down the days until she goes home!). It appears that my mother-in-law's decision to live here was the proverbial straw that broke the (Kelly) camel's back. I have been devastated. Hopeless. And recently began sinking into depression.
Despite the many stresses I have been dealing with, I have been so proud of the fact that I have not turned to food for solace. That all ended on Friday, July 15th. I was so frustrated and angry that I ate 1/2 a DiGorno Pizza for dinner. And I didn't even enjoy it!
Then came Saturday. I ran out of the house and went to Jack In The Box. Halfway through my meal, I was stuffed and I finished the meal anyway. Then I brought about half of it back up---and I did it again for dinner! I went to have Mexican, became overfull and then brought about half back up.
So yay for me when I resisted temptation at our spiritual center on Sunday and followed my eating plan. Then I slept almost all day Monday and at six o'clock, I angrily ate a big bowl of Oatmeal Squares for dinner!
To add insult to injury, when I weighed myself on Sunday, I had only lost 3 pounds. I haven't been THAT bad this past two weeks!
I leave for Houston, TX for two weeks this Friday. Because of this, I want to ask my doctor on Wednesday if I can start over when I come back from Houston. My guess is he will say no so I am trying to prepare myself accordingly. I am, however, worried to see the results for these past two weeks.
I am feeling a bit dejected. Angry with myself. Ashamed. Frustrated.
Wish me luck for weigh-in on Wednesday!
Ok chiquita, let's talk this through a minute. Although not ideal, what good does your mother-in-law bring? Not saying I'd want to live with mine, just perspective. Houston is the reprieve you need right now, but don't hurt yourself in the process. Stay on plan and love yourself. To sound cliche: we can only control the way we react to our circumstances. If your able to work out Zumba has been my saving grace. Check it out!
ReplyDeleteKelly .. we know nothing is simple with the weight loss. But for sure you are on a pretty stiff diet plan and will have it's challnges and getting upset with yourself is going to just add to the overall stress.
ReplyDeleteDaughter gave up a serious boyfriend when he indicated that his mother was immigrating and would be living with them. It is tough when the cultural pressures kick in.
Enjoy our break away.
Linda
Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. Hugs!
ReplyDelete